Group Interaction Notes
I jotted down these notes while attending a meeting of Group Interaction, a local singles group near Dayton, Ohio. I thought they might help someone on his or her own love quest. The meeting took place in a medium-sized church sanctuary with the chairs arranged in a big circle. Sixty to seventy people were in attendance and the group leader threw out several questions to get the discussion going. Here’s a summary of that discussion…
Why do men want to fix instead of just listening?
o Men need to feel empowered.
o Ignore them for a time.
o Listening is active – validation.
o No solution discovered. But Ideas were offered.
o If you don’t want a fix, say so.
o Men tend to be dominant problem solvers. So their desire to solve may be stronger than their drive to just listen and support you.
What makes a man commit to a lady?
o Trust, trust, & honesty.
o What is meant by “commitment?”
o They must commit, and love.
o Commonality. With this, enjoying dates happens more readily.
o Know thy self before committing.
o Discover the shortcomings and determine if you can deal with them.
o Could I sacrifice at any point in my life, to keep a relationship alive?
o You pattern your life to accommodate her life and desires.
How long does it take to identify BAD relationships?
o Can find out in a minute.
o But sometimes, it takes a lifetime.
o It could take years to discover that you’ve compromised a requirement of a mate.
What do ladies discuss in the bathroom?
o Their men. Their boys.
o Their clothing, and primping.
o They relate experiences they’ve just had at the bar.
o Who to avoid and who to linger around.
o Friendly conversation about each other.
o Some women think this talk silly.
What about a man, first interests a woman?
o Nice smile
o Cleanliness
o Height. One woman, who was short, said she grew up with tall brothers, and she felt that this is why she desires tall mates.
o Legs
o He’s not too forward, but forward enough to keep things interesting
o How he makes eye contact
o Self confidence, which excessive shyness can interfere with
o How he can balance between talking about himself and listen to them
o Creativity
o Passion
o His face
o That he doesn’t seem troubled
o They listen to each and every word, looking for a deep-thinking, introspective fellow
o How he treats others
o Gentleness
o Sincerity and honesty
o Too many compliments and overt flattery – big turn-offs. They can make her mistrust the man. Shallow praise men use because they think it will make the woman “fall.” But this appears, among the Group Interaction ladies, not to be the case.
o Sense of humor, balanced with intelligence
o They don’t enjoy being swept off their feet, literally
o Some ladies like being picked up if they know the man. If they do not, they might see it as an invasion.
How do women approach men they’d like to meet?
o When he’s nearby, smile at him and make eye contact.
o It’s supposed to be okay for a woman to reject a man, but not a man to reject a woman. [Who said that?!?!?]
o Some women wait for the men to come to them. Only a few would actually approach.
o Some ladies said that they avoid the men they’re attracted to.
o When in a relationship, Linda does not play the field.
Culture-impaired – Can’t appreciate the desirable prospects.
Relationships start with getting to know someone as a friend.
Stage fright in approaching The One.
If you try and change someone, even if you succeed, it’s never enough. Popular advice states that you must accept one as she is, as a complete package, with all her imperfections intact and visible.
Wow! But some change in both people will likely be required to enable them each to fit into the new relationship.
In some areas, you give a little while in others, you take a little. Give and take. But over all, the picture must show balance.
Appreciate each other’s qualities and respect each other.
Develop expectations after you’ve gotten to know them a bit.
