Seven Years Of First Love
‘Evenin’ [J].
On the seven years that I pursued my [first love]: Yes, for just about all of that time, we were just friends, although I wanted so much more. Oh there were a few occasions when she allowed me to steal a kiss or a bit more. But those only happened every few years.
Anyway, the end of our relationship produced more emotional anguish than I had ever felt before. And, there has been no MORE painful time since then either. No doubt, the experience hurt with more duration and intensity than any other in my life. That time I’ve come to refer to as my “dark ages”. I would never trade those times for any other – they taught me many valuable lessons after all, that contribute to my happiness today. Yet I would never want to repeat them.
Since then, there have been many friends and several emotionally intense relationships. Lots of enriching experiences. But more about them some other times if you’re interested. I feel like we’re talking too much about me, and not enough about you. 
Your words about the many ways of connecting with others were most insightful. Never really viewed relationships as consisting of different types of connections between people. But many folks do speak of them in these terms.
I don’t believe that we’re supposed to go it alone either. When a “right” woman is around and returns my affections, I feel so much more “alive” than when she is absent. The energy that comes from togetherness when present, overflows into all other areas of life, and positively colors everything. All hardships seem less hard and all good things seem even better. It becomes so much easier to be nice to everyone when one’s emotional, mental, and sexual needs are being met fully. Things like the quests for money and power and affluence, become less interesting, when one is truly satiated by true love.
Do you have a pic of you that you could email? Were you able to see mine on the match.com web site? I just bought a digital camera. Not having to get film developed is a real advancement over traditional photographic methods. Plus, it makes sending pics over the net much easier. Can you view .JPG, .GIF, or .TIF files on your PC? Most web browsers these days come with the necessary software to decode and display these file formats.
Mom’s boyfriend seems like a nice guy, although his past is somewhat sordid. He smokes pot on occasion, and about 10 years ago, had gotten into a very bad car accident because he was riding with a bunch of drunks. But the accident might have changed him. He treats Mom very well and she says that she’s very comforted having him around. He cuts the grass and has begun doing numerous “handyman” type jobs around their home.
Oh and by the way, he is almost 30 years younger than Mom. He is 29.
As a writer, you must read a lot also. Do you have a book case at your home? How big is it and what are some of your favorite books on it? Do you have a home office?
I just bought a copy of an illustrated Oxford Dictionary, and have been having so much fun reading it that it feels almost like reading a good novel.
More later . . .
Tom Hesley
