Tom's Love Quest

Dear   [Vee],

Ha ha ha, [Vee]. This is a good one. You, pretending to be [your husband]. Marvelous. Interesting points you made.

If only he’d realize that he’s not giving you the care you need, by letting himself become so heavy, treating your kids badly, turning your dwelling into a real-life zoo, and possessing and controlling you the way he seems to. You should have him read Albert Ellis’ book,   Guide to Rational Living. It might help him get his priorities straight, and it might help you tolerate his (apparently many) peculiarities more effectively. Good luck. I’m always here if you need support.

Later.

Tom

PS: Still laughing.

Dear   [Elstan],

[She didn't know how to answer me. So she told me that I was in fact, "a scary dude," and she said that she had no answers about my proposition to date her. Not a yes, and not a no.]

I understand. Hope you have a wonderful summer too. Can’t believe I left you speechless though, you being the woman of unsurpassed wit and all.

Surely this [my crush] is no surprise to you. Other ladies have told me that I am quite transparent in regard to such matters, even when I don’t verbalize my desires. If our age difference troubles you, then consider this: My mom, for past three years, has been involved with a man who is ten years younger than *I* am. And they seem to be doing fine. My sisters aren’t crazy about the arrangement. But she (Mom) seems quite happy. Often chronological age difference is no predictor of how two folks will get along. Also, please understand that I am not looking to marry, and I will not ask you to stop “playing the field” as you put it, and see only me. I just want to know what a romantic evening with you would be like, unrestrained. If you like massage, then I can make you feel very good indeed.

Well, I have to get to work. Let me know if answers come to you. I’ll check back with you from time to time when I come to Pittsburgh. Take care.

Tom Hesley

Dear   [Vee],

I heard your voice mails. I’m at Mom’s, remember? I’ll be here until Saturday morning (June 2nd), when I’m scheduled to return to Philly.

My number at Mom’s is 814-742-xxxx, or if that doesn’t work, try 814-742-yyyy.

Later,
Tom

Dear   [Elstan],

Hey there. Now did I scare you off? Just wondering what you think of my ”proposition.”

Do say hi to [Tad] for me if you see him.

Tom Hesley

Dear   [Beejay],

Glad to hear you’ve found someone who treats you more as you REALLY DO deserve to be treated.

I’m still playing the field. Really haven’t been trying lately however, as I want to make my weight loss goals before risking feminine rejection again. Once I reach goal, I’m going to redo my wardrobe with clothes that accentuate my high-pride points. So, gone will be the baggy pants, shirts, and sweaters, replaced with tighter-fitting attire, which I hope will make me more appealing to you ladies. The women I know however, say that the weight loss won’t positively affect my success much, as they felt that I was too worried about my weight to begin with. But, I hope they’re wrong. As I said before, I feel MUCH better and more energetic. So, even if this doesn’t attract desirable mates, at least the health ramifications of the weight loss make it all worth while.

Well, off to lunch. Today, I’m making split pea soup with cooked, whole rye mixed in. Yum.

Take care, and I’ll be in touch as mid June gets closer.

Tom Hesley

Dear   [Vee],

Hi there.

No, haven’t received your card yet. Looking forward to it though.

Well, I tried calling you back this morning, and your phone was busy, and then there was no answer. So don’t pick on me for not trying.

{{{{*******}}}}

Loose wave hairdo? Well, be sure and send along a pic of yourself after you get it done. That way, I’ll know what you look like, and can more easily find you at the airport in June.

Take care. Love you too.

PS: Thanks very much for the electronic greeting. I liked the big yellow round sun.

Tom

Hey   [Beejay]!

Last I knew, you were going to close on your dream house in March. Did that happen, and are you moved in yet?

Nothing new here, except that I’ve lost 25 pounds since you last saw me. I feel so much better. Been taking lots of long (4-hour) hikes around the city here as my exercise. Loving it. It sure is good to be back in Philly.

Looks like I’m visiting Dayton in mid June, during the week of the 19th. We’ll definitely have to get together.

How are you and that guy you were dating in January making out?

Tom Hesley

Dear [Tad],

Hey there. No, haven’t heard from [Elstan] yet. I will write her once again before she leaves for the summer. By the way, when is school out for the year?

Lots of playing over the weekend, ‘eh? Don’t make me jealous.

School prom. Speaking of that, I often wonder whatever happened to   [Shaina],   you remember, that waitress that I took to our 10th grade prom? Apparently, as [our health teacher] recounted at the dinner, that was more controversial than I imagined. I hope that it didn’t cause her to lose her job, since she left the school shortly after that. I know [our house mother] had lots of bad things to say about my choice in women then.

Did you enjoy the prom this year?

Well, time for lunch. Will catch you later. If you see [Elstan], say hi to her for me. Nothing like a bit of subliminal pressure.

Tom Hesley

Dear   [Tad],

Still haven’t heard back from [Elstan]. Perhaps she was really put off by what I said. Oh well. I would rather not have put her off, but it’s no tragedy if I did. She’ll get over it, as will I.

Hope nothing too serious is wrong with your car. Those things can have so many unplanned expenses. But they sure are convenient.

So, what’s Roxy doing without her IUD? The rhythm method?

Later.

Tom Hesley

Related Posts

• Therapy Session: 2009-02-21

Dear [Tad],

It’s me again.

[...]

Tell Roxy I did happen to find her IUD in my baggage once I got home.

Frick Park. Yes. Very nice area. I spent lots of time studying there in the 80s while attending Pitt. Roxy must love having other friends to play with.

You guys called [Elstan], Mrs. [...]? I would have thought it was Miss [...]. Wasn’t [...] her maiden name? Or had she been married prior to the [...] experience?

Looks like things with the Cleveland girl   (named [Vee])   are on hold. She now says she wants to try to make amends with her husband. I wished her well and told her that if she needed to talk about anything, to give me a call. She’s still calling almost every day. So, don’t know what that means. But I learned long ago not to wait and fool around with married women. So I have no dreams where   [Vee]   is concerned.

Well, must run for now. Take care and will talk to you again soon.

Tom