Tom's Love Quest

Dear   [Ang],

I sat on the left side center of the auditorium , within two tables of the front. My back was to the aisle, so it’s no wonder you missed me.

Yes, still pretty thin, although I did pick up ten pounds over the winter. Working on losing that once again. Cholestoral reading was way down this year – 166, down from 217 last year. So the life style is definitely working.

I moved away from Philly (again), this past December due to noisy neighbors in that apartment there. Living with Mom currently until I get my head together on what I want to do with the rest of my life. Once that’s decided, and I’ve saved enough money to buy a nice home in a quiet neighborhood, I hope to return to Philly. Perhaps this third move back there will be the charm. Hopefully anyhow.

Had to give up the green tea because the caffeine in it was really starting to bother me. So I switched to spearmint and peppermint tea, that has no caffeine but is just as refreshing as the green tea.

Mom and [her current man] are still together. I’m still finding it difficult to accept him. He smokes pot and lots of cigarettes each day, is grossly overweight, contributes nothing to the operating costs of the house, and takes little initiative to contribute anything else.

Part of me wishes he would just go away. It’s difficult picking up his cigarette butts after him, and along with Mom, paying for his share of the house expenses. My sisters feel uncomfortable just stopping by with him around. It’s truly a challenge to relate among ourselves as family when this stranger just hangs around. But that’s the way it is I guess. Mom loves him and none of us kids can see at all why.

Another part of me feels sorry for him, as he has had a “rough life” indeed. And at times I feel guilty for being hard on him in my thoughts. [... ] [W]hen the nephews and nieces come over he does treat them okay – pushing them around in the wheelbarrow, on the swings, and such. So he’s not TOTALLY bad. This has become a real lesson for me to focus on the good side of a person and ignore (at least as much as possible) the bad.

Well, I must get back to work. Thanks for responding and I am truly sorry we missed each other this time. I’ll try and give you more advance notice next time I’m in.

Hope you’re doing well. Are you still happily married and enjoying life with your son? Did your son move out yet?

Later,
Tom Hesley

[Ang],

Hi there. It’s been a whole year since we last talked and I wanted to touch base and see how you’re doing. I’m in town for the rest of this week, and all of next. So if you’d like to do lunch or dinner at some point, do let me know.

Tom Hesley

Dear   [Vee],

Hi there. I have a staff meeting until around 11:00 tomorrow morning. But I can spend time with you after that. Just let me know when you plan on getting here. Since I’ll be here at [work] when you arrive, it would be great if you would come here and pick me up. We could do an early lunch, and then whatever.

On books to help you through dissolution, I don’t know of anything specifically tailored for that. However, I remember reading a good book a while back by Peter McWilliams called: You Can’t Afford The Luxury of a Negative Thought. This book teaches the reader how to rid the mind of emotionally draining thoughts and feelings. It may be able to help you keep things in perspective during this tough time in your life and to avoid feeling like “the sky is falling.”

McWilliams publishes lots of other great books on similar subjects. Another particularly good one is: How To Survive The Loss of a Love, that offers ideas on how to recover emotionally from a relationship gone bad. Perhaps while you’re here, we can go to a book store and see what they have.

Well, I have to get to work for now. So take care and I’ll talk to you later today probably.

Tom

Dear   [Vee],

Ah yes, That celebration is tomorrow (Tuesday) from 11:00 AM to 4:00 PM. I don’t think I’ll be getting any surprises there however – unless of course, YOU walk in. That would be a very pleasant surprise.

I did get your voice mail in my hotel room. The phone extension in the hotel room is 1328.

It was good to see my old buddies at work again today. I didn’t realize until now how much I had forgotten what everyone was like in person. But the day was a very busy one and lots was accomplished.

Well, talk to you soon. I’m going to bed pretty soon. Very sleepy tonight.

Later,
Tom Hesley

Dear   [Vee],

Did you want to get together Wednesday night? I go back to Altoona on Thursday.

Tom

Dear   [Vee],

Good deal. I’ll look for you at the airport on Sunday night. Have fun in Dayton this weekend.

Tom

[She said that she'd been expecting a telephone call from me, and that's why she hadn't written me any email.]

Dear Lisa,

I’m going away this weekend to Philly, and then to Dayton. I’ll be back here on Thursday, June 20th, late in the evening. But I’ll see if I can call you sometime next week while in Dayton.

I did leave a message at the number I have for you a week or two ago. Perhaps it didn’t get through. But we’ll connect one of these days.

Later,
Tom Hesley

[This one stopped communicating as well.]

Dear Lisa,

Are you still out there, and would you still like to communicate and develop a friendship?

I didn’t know if you received the email below, as we had some email system problems at work the day I sent it. So, here it is again.

—-

Lisa,

Good morning to you !

Yes, I enjoyed our talk as well and would definitely welcome further talks. If you get this before you head for home, how about sending along a phone number where I can reach you this weekend? Or, give me a call yourself.

The pavilion is great. I’m putting up some fluorescent lights inside it – got one up yesterday and will complete the job of installing the other one today. Also, I purchased some metal halide flood lights to light the grounds surrounding the pavilion. They are quite bright.

Work is going well. Writing some JSP pages and supporting Java code for them this week. It sounds like your studies are keeping you busy and happy. That’s nice.

It would be nice to meet you sometime over the weekend, since you’re going to be in the area.

Perhaps we’ll talk over the weekend.

Have a safe trip, and I’ll talk to you soon.

Tom Hesley

[This lady had been emailing me but then stopped all of a sudden.]

Are you still out there? Did you want to communicate further?

Tom

Dear   [Vee],

Will do. I’ll have my laptop with me, so I’ll send you the information as soon as I know it.

I’ll get a cab. Sorry I won’t see you Sunday night. But perhaps later in the week we’ll get together.

I will be there through Thursday evening. My flight leaves to come home at 8:00 PM Thursday night. If you could come on Tuesday or Wednesday, that’d be great. If not, then perhaps we’ll connect the next time I visit.

Tom