Dear Pat
Hi Pat. It’s okay to call you Pat?
Anyway, as far as why guys write at first and then stop suddenly: So, you really want the long and short of it, ‘eh? Well, my take on this is that guys and gals alike pursue relationships as they would peel an onion. Quite a logical way to proceed actually. You always see the outside of someone first, from a distance. Then, you get to know them a bit more and off come the outer layers of the onion and you learn things about them that were obscured by those outer peelings. Each interaction with that person peels more layers off the onion. Well, as long as we don’t discover a rotten part that we can’t peel past, we keep peeling and stay interested in the person, wanting to learn more and more.
I believe that when someone stops communicating abruptly, they have learned something about the relation and / or the partner that turned them off. Not that there was anything absolutely wrong with the partner. In fact, most things like this that turn a suitor away are probably beyond the suitee’s control.
So whenever this happens, be sure and avoid taking it personally, as though the other person is judging you for something you either cannot, or are not inclined to change.
Many women believe that when a guy backs off abruptly that they allowed him to get too close to them physically. This is probably not the case however. Often, lady friends have asked me why, once they took the guy to bed, he immediately turned high-tail and ran. And they berate themselves for “giving it up too fast.” They theorize that he ran because he scored victory in his conquest efforts and since guys like a challenge, these ladies feel that once they undress for him that they’ve given him the prize he sought. There was no more challenge for him. And so, he left.
But, I can tell you, that what probably happened was that the guy, for the first time, saw the lady in the buff, even though they might have been dating for months before this encounter, and decided he didn’t like what he saw and had to leave. This can happen at any point during the relationship, not just when the clothes come off.
This is why I’ve always felt that we ought to get rid of make-up, gaudy cloths, and anything that might make a person look and act differently than their natural inclinations dictate. If the guy had met the lady for the first time at a nudist beach, they might not have spent so much time in the courtship stage before he realized that she wasn’t physically his type. But I’m dreaming like Robert Heinlein now. You ever read science fiction? There’ how’s that?
So, to what shall we dance? Do you like adult contemporary music from artists like Michael Bolton, Richard Marx, Celine Dione, and All-4-One? Are you into 80s, 90s, 60s, or 70s music? Did you ever dance disco?
On my book, it’s focus is to help people who are shy, to meet and date their dream mates. So many of us are just too bashful to walk up to our dream girls and dream guys, introduce ourselves, and ask them for a few minutes to get acquainted. It is primarily for this reason, in my humble opinion, that people get caught up in un fulfilling and dead-end relationships with mates they’d really rather not be with. They can’t get away however, because they’re too afraid to connect with people they truly desire. So in the book I hope to teach people some philosophies, techniques, beliefs, and exercises to empower them to reach out for the right people.
Have you ever heard that when a person is walking down the street, he tends to veer away from women he finds attractive and veers toward the “safe” ladies, the ones he’s not very attracted to? After reading this book, I hope people can reverse this behavior. After all, logically, we should be veering toward those we find very attractive and keeping away from those we don’t. That’s the long and short of my first book.
I decided on the book topic, because as a young adult, I was quite terrified at revealing my attraction to the ladies I intensely desired. Well, I’ve figured out how to do it comfortably and I want to relate the thought processes I went through to reach this state of affairs in my life. I’m here on match.com because I enjoy meeting people in different cities, and yes, there’s a research motive involved. However, I am open to a relationship if one develops. So don’t worry. I’m not here to conduct laboratory experiments. 
Never been to San Fran but would like to visit it some day. I have been to LA however on a business trip in 1995. Didn’t stay as long as I would have liked. But one day, I will. I also have a friend in Pasadena and he’s been after me to go visit him. So, I want to do that sometime in the next year or so.
I just climbed down off the roof this evening, doing some patchwork. It’s a brand new roof and so I was rather miffed that it leaked over the weekend when it rained. Hopefully, it will leak no more.
Well, I have to run. Take care and write again.
