Girlfriend Emmy
[Tina],
We must talk about [your] visit.
I spoke with [Emmy] yesterday; we talk for a couple hours almost daily now. I kept quiet about your visit, but did ask how she’d feel if I entertained other lady friends while she and I are deciding whether we really want to be together. Well, I got more than I was expecting. She told me I could see whomever I want, but that she wouldn’t like it. Apparently, she feels lots more for me than I thought when I invited you to come to Altoona. She’s serious about seeing where things are headed with us, saying that if I’m hanging out with other ladies, especially fully sighted ones, that she couldn’t really be convinced that I desire her and only her. She already wonders about my sincerity and true intensions, as I’m so much older than she is. So it’d probably be best not to give her any more cause for doubt by asking her to accept your visit up here. Plus, I’d feel bad about hiding your visit from her. I guess I’m stuck with being honest.
She’s got great legs, pretty feet, she’s my height, has a wonderful sense of humor, is very outgoing, and loves giving hour-long massages. She doesn’t care so much about the clothes I wear or how I look, thinking the world of me even though I don’t dress up very often. At camp, she only ever saw me in shorts, sweatshirts, jeans, and swimming trunks. Yet she treated me like a king with his regal garb of gold and silver. She almost never wears make-up, which as you know, I agree with whole-heartedly. We click on so many important issues that it’s scary but intriguing at the same time.
It seems that I now have a girlfriend who in so many ways embodies exactly what I’ve sought all these years. I really need someone to feel as she does, seeing me as her perfect man, who isn’t keeping a laundry list of things to change about me. I desire a woman who dotes over me, truly understanding the limitations of vision-impairment and thus, not expecting me to accomplish more than I’m comfortable accomplishing as a condition for her continued doting. Call it egocentric. Call it childish. But I believe, as Dean Martin sang so long ago, that “You’re nobody until somebody loves you.” As you know, I’m sick and tired of being a “nobody.”
While the relationship with my young sweetheart is barely three weeks old, I want to give it every possible chance to succeed for a little while. She worries about our 22-year age difference and may never be able to get past this. She’s not sure how her parents feel. And if they object to the “older” man in her life, she’s indicated that she may not wish to continue dating me.
Our would-be togetherness is further complicated by the fact that we live 3 hours apart – another long distance relationship. *sigh* (Why do I keep getting into these things?)
Further, she’s not crazy about living in Philly, a place I love and hope to return to in the next few years. But she realizes that she hasn’t spent enough time downtown to build an informed opinion, agreeing to allow me to give her the grand tour someday to see for herself.
So there are major issues that perhaps we cannot fix. But at least for the next few months, I would like to create the most emotionally supportive environment I can, to encourage her to cast aside her age prejudices, and love me without reservation. Hopefully she can learn to focus more on us and how we feel about each other, rather than how others might judge us, the father-daughter couple. Hanging out with other lady friends too much would only increase her doubts that I truly want a relationship with her.
So, regrettably, I need to withdraw my invitation to you, to visit me here in Altoona, at least for the present. I hope you understand and will remain my friend. Perhaps some other time we can do it.
I’ll give you a call later to talk more.
