Tom's Love Quest

Dear [LizDee],

Well, it’s nice to know that I have qualities that attract some ladies. Sometimes, I doubt that. But I’m glad you appreciate me for who I am.

Can you spell ‘illuminate?’ *snicker snicker*

You have helped clarify and strengthen my beliefs on human attraction. I’m a full believer in love-at-first-sight, and you seem to feel the same. There, I guess we validated each other on that one.

No, I learned long ago that attempts to change myself for anyone only frustrates them and makes me feel inadequate. WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get). Nothing more, nothing less. I’m just me.

This is not to say that I don’t change at all. I do. I’m a different person from one day to the next, depending on the knowledge gained in the previous day. I change all the time, learning, and growing in my own way and at my own pace. But I generally avoid brute-force changing, where I must force myself to conform to how someone else wants me to behave.

Change comes easy when I understand why doing it would be beneficial for me. It’s much harder if I attempt it simply because someone else wants me to. There must be more substantial reasons for it than that, if I’m going to successfully achieve it.

Talk to you later,
Tom Hesley

Dear [Emmy],

Thanks for the sweet words. Maybe one day, I’ll learn to fall in love with you again. But that probably won’t be soon.

I don’t want you to get hurt again and so I feel I have to repeatedly be honest about what I’m feeling. I do care about you and what happens to you. I enjoy your voice and how you care about me. As long as you understand that I cannot give you commitment right now, we should get along well.

Take care,
Tom Hesley

Dear [Emmy],

Wow! Sounds like the internship is getting off to a great start. I used to work early on Sunday morning (2:00 – 10:00). But your shift sounds a lot better.

Hopefully, [that married guy] will take your “No” for an answer, and leave you alone. If he doesn’t, you may have to threaten to tell his wife about this. Hopefully, it won’t come to that. But at least you have an ace in the hole, if you need it.

Yep, you’re hot.

It’s wonderful that you’re being so understanding of me and my issues. You really do love me, don’t you.

Talk to you later,
Tom Hesley

Dear [Emmy],

I hope you find your dream guy too. Just watch out for those married men!

Tom Hesley

Dear [Emmy],

Congratulations on the success of your internship so far. You’ll do fine. It’s good that you like it too.

Tom Hesley

Dear [Emmy],

Thanks much. She has not responded yet. But if she doesn’t, at least, I’ll know how she feels.

Tom Hesley

Dear [LizDee],

Yep, I got your email last night and am considering a response.

No, not too much writing today, at least, not any that will be published widely.

Yes, playing doctor with you does have its appeal. One day…..

Sorry about Bob. He must really like you and is having trouble letting go – thus his ex-boyfriends club.

Tom Hesley

[This woman wished not to start a long distance relationship. So I wrote the following back.]

Thanks very much for responding. That’s so, … so, … so mannerly.

Take care and good luck in your search.

Tom Hesley

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• Combating The Shame Of Rejection

[LizDee],

When we talk again, I’ll read you one of my stories aloud, and see what you think. How’s that?

Tom Hesley

Dear [LizDee],

Yes, it was lovely [an article LizDee had sent me about why women cry].

Bladder infection? Hmmm. “Dr. Hesley” says drink lots of water, and follow your real doctor’s instructions.

Later,
Tom Hesley