Shallow Thin Lust
[This lady rejected me because she says that I'm so focussed on avoiding fat mates, and this she said, is very shallow. So I responded as follows:]
Well, at first, many react to my profile as you did. But once they get to know me, they understand that I’m focused on so much more than just a healthy body weight. Ultimately, I am focused on the woman’s mind. But I believe that how she keeps her body is a strong and accurate indicator of how her mind is working. If she’s got a body of sloth, in my experience, her mind is likewise lazy. Would you not agree?
Besides, for whatever reason, on an instinctual level, I just don’t find the heavier set appealing, and refuse to date someone merely because society says I should be able to see beyond whatever it is about them that turns me off. Since, in my estimation, we don’t control who we’re attracted to, then the best I can do to maximize my chances of getting with someone attractive, is to be honest about what I desire. Shallow or not, I seem to be chemically drawn to women of my height or taller, and who are thin.
It’s apparent from your bio that you’re careful about how and what you eat. And I expect that you don’t suffer many health problems due to what you put in your mouth either. That said, don’t you want to be appreciated for your dedication to good health? Do you really believe that it’s the mark of a good man, who can turn his head when his girl starts overeating and blows up like a balloon? Somehow, I don’t see you staying with a man who gains a lot of weight because he neglects his body. Perhaps you would. I don’t know. But if you did, you’d be defying the odds.
I’ve dated numerous heavy ladies over the years, searching for a different view than the one I’m relating to you now. However, all it did was confirm the beliefs that I’m stating here. What I found was that their heaviness was not their only problem. Most of them were moody, with sometimes drastic mood swings. Easy to understand, given their diets of doughnuts and bon bons and sugar galore. You ever read the book “Sugar Blues” by Mike Duffy? In it, he documents that sugar is a depressant and it changes the personalities of those who consume very much of it. It makes them irritable and forgetful. They get colds more often because sugar depletes the immune system. It makes them tired in the afternoon and interferes with good sleeping at night. It’s terribly addictive, and, most visibly, it makes people fat. Chances are that if you show me a fat person, I can show you a person who is eating too much refined sugar, and that their personality is less attractive as a result.
No, I don’t think of myself as “shallow.” It’s not wrong to want someone who values their health as highly as I value mine, someone who makes those values apparent by sporting a thin, healthy body. Show me a healthy body, and I’ll show you a healthy mind and personality. The two go together, and contrary to popular opinion, cannot be separated since the state of the mind affects so directly the state of the body, and vice versa.
Anyway, enough for now. Write to me again if you desire. I’d enjoy debating this with you. Challenge me, and I’ll challenge you. Be ready to learn new ways of thinking about weight. You already seem to know a great deal. Your thinness attests to that.
Take care,
Tom Hesley
