Tom's Love Quest

I’m less willing to relocate for a lady these days. As I spend more time here in Altoona, yes, living here has its hardships but at least I have a reasonably quiet place. Quietness is paramount. When I get into a noisy place, where people are slamming doors, yelling, revving their car engines, and just making excessive unnecessary noise in general, I won’t do well there. So I don’t want to risk moving back to a big city where these behaviors are commonplace.

I lived in apartments in Philly and Ohio. Even my first place at 9705 Hunt Drive in Miamisburg, Ohio was noisy. For two years I put up with that before moving to 7822 Betsy Ross Circle in Centerville, Ohio. At least, that condo was really quiet though not very accessible to work. It seems that noise and apartments go hand in hand. Usually, you don’t have quiet apartments.

In 2005, I sense that I’m willing to sacrifice less to accommodate a relationship then I was five or six years ago. Even if I met someone in Pittsburgh, I don’t know if I’d be willing to move there to be with her. Tough call.

Ideally, I’d love to meet a local dream girl. So, perhaps I should focus my search more on this area. I’ll still meet people in distant cities (if they’re darn good). But even then, I’ll not likely relocate unless they’re set up nicely there and wouldn’t mind me joining them. The longer I play this game, the less faith I have that something good will come of a long distance relationship. They’re very difficult to maintain.

I hear stories about people meeting each other on the Internet and relocating to be together, and the whole thing works out well. It does happen. I know. So I should not rule it out. But I believe that if it is going to happen, the woman would have to come here. But even then, the question is: Am I willing to move out of here, even to a close by place? I don’t know. Why? Because I have it pretty good here. If I want to stay, I’ll have the place for the rest of my life. But if I move, having to live in an apartment, I’ll once again be subject to noisy neighbors, or even, noise from my lover, which I don’t’ want. I often get into my meditative, concentrative efforts, and don’t like being interrupted.

Now I think that if I met my dream girl, such sacrifices would be easier. In fact, I’d probably not see them as sacrifices at all. I can’t imagine making them right now because there’s no real woman here. But I would have gone to be with the ballerina in Pittsburgh. If only she’d not wanted to push things so fast, we might be living together today. Her hard pushing made me suspect her of gold digging and left me wondering what she was really after. If all she wanted was to be with me, if her desire to only be with me was sincere and comprised the complete story of her motivation to call me, if she truly wanted to just hold my hand or watch movies or just live life with me, she wouldn’t have been in such a hurry to get me to go to Europe. We’ve been through this already.

So these days, given my uncertainty and lacking trust of women in general, relocating for one is out of the question.

Tom Hesley

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 4th, 2005 at 12:27 pm and is filed under Ballerina, Concepts, Honesty, Special Ladies, Trust. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.