Fear is My Friend, Not My Foe
This revelation about the fear of rejection and how I no longer see it as a defect or something to be taken care of, eliminated, or reduced even, encourages me. I now see it as a good thing, for it’s a great sixth sense about women if you will. It’s a sensitivity to their feelings, and this is what I’ve been trying to squelch over the years. No wonder, given my seemingly innate sense of their feelings, I couldn’t ignore it for long. I’ve learned, through trial and error, to be afraid of rejection.
I’ve attempted to suppress that sensitivity: I’ve done it with alcohol from time to time. I’ve tried to placate it with therapy, read a ton of self help books, and so many other efforts. But the bottom line is that that is what I was doing. I was trying to suppress it. amd this turned out to be bad.
I understand now that if the woman does feel something for me, I’ll know it, and my fear of approaching her will subside. Experience prove this. I have not found that defying that fear by going against what my intuition tells me, is effective at getting the girl. Rarely does it work. So the success odds are very low. Instead, I found that to reduce the fear of rejection, I need to surround myself with people who are less likely to reject me but who still attract me.
Prior to learning this, I forced myself through a lot of needless trauma. In many cases where I’ve approached women, my subconscious mind said “No, she doesn’t like you. Stay away.” But I listened not, instead choosing to push forward anyway. Yes, she chided me for it too. She rightly put me down: Hey, what are you doing approaching me? I don’t like you. Just because one has sheer will power at his disposal, he should not always force himself through his fears of rejection; lest he be perceived as a real reject.
Though this hurts, I must respect women who say no, because if I give any inkling that I don’t, I’ll lose out. Most definitely. Even with someone who might have liked me otherwise, if I show a flagrant disregard for her feelings by ignoring her nonverbal, pre verbalcommunication, she might think twice about me. As best I can perceive the non verbal communication of body language, I must pay attention to it. I need to interpret it properly, and then listen to what my subconscious mind tells me, through my own feelings and emotions. I think I’d be less afraid of rejection once I’m certain that I’m not ignoring someone’s wishes by initiating an approach.
