After Kandi Again
Hi there, [Kandi].
18 credits. That’s quite a bit. No wonder you’re feeling haggard right now. I generally took 12 credits a term in the fall and winter, and then 6 credits in the summer. Once I took 15, in the fall of ’85, and almost dropped out ’cause it was so difficult.
Yes, where I lived in Ohio (near Dayton), they had a Damon’s. Ate there many times. Great ribs.
I agree with you about dances being more fun without a date. That’s especially true for me when I’m Djing. It’s a pain to have to keep leaving the computer to dance with a date. But I suppose that for the right date, the pain would be to have to keep leaving the dance floor to put the next song on.
The business is okay. I have a gig this June at Delgrosso’s Amusement Park. It’s a local picnic that my sister runs each year. Should be around 100 people there.
So, you recycled some old boyfriends, ‘eh? It’s tempting to think, after being apart a while that they would change (or that you would), and that it would be easier to get along with them the second or third time around. Perhaps sometimes that happens. However, it almost never does. People usually don’t (can’t) change their nature to the degree necessary to make a difficult relationship easy because we humans are definitely “creatures of habit” as the saying goes. And though we all change and grow every day, we don’t change enough to ever make a relationship with another work, where it didn’t work before. Love relationships succeed or fail based on core personality traits (morality, work ethic, self esteem, ego, and so on) being compatible. If those clash the first time around, they most likely will do so, no matter how many times you try again. So throw the old boyfriends into the hopper for good. The chances of finding lasting romance are, in my opinion, better with a stranger than with someone you know well, but who has proven to be incompatible.
Oh yes. If a guy EVER breaks up with you for another girl, I think you should never, Never, NEVER give him a second chance. If he feels tempted to date around, then he’s not truly “in love” with you and almost certainly never will be, even though he might argue strongly that he is, especially if he’s trying to get you back. Though he might sound awfully persuasive, If you take him back you’ll be on the lover’s cross forever, wondering when he’d leave you again for someone else. Rest assured. If he’s left you once, he’ll do it again. Though it’s easier said than done, by all means avoid past lovers.
I must say that it’s hard to imagine anyone wanting to leave you for another. The guy must have been nuts, or at the very least, just didn’t feel the passion for you. If, by some miracle, you and I come together, I know as surely as the sun will rise tomorrow, that I’d never desire other women. Wouldn’t even cross my mind to look. No need to look to others when holding hands with the best. You’d have me for life (or at least, for as long as you wanted me). You know that there are only a few women I’ve known that I’d be proud to introduce to my family as my girlfriend. Though you don’t know any of them, you are definitely one.
I know, I know. The timing isn’t right. And believe me when I say that I respect your need to follow your life’s path which your heart has laid out for you. Thus, I will always support you, no matter what you choose to do.
However, once you’ve seen the world and experienced life as much as you care to… well… just know that there’s a guy who wants to hold you tight. Right here. In Altoona. He knows that on all the planet, there’s no prettier woman than you. And he’s seen and befriended many. To him, you really are a perfect 10. To borrow from the Backstreet boys, he doesn’t care where you’re from or what you did, who you’ve dated, how, or when, or why you broke up with them. He just knows enough to realize that you’re the girl for him if ever you’d want to be. You make his dreams come true.
Well, on that note, I’d better get going before I really put my foot in my mouth. I’ve got to get out to the yard while the weather’s still dry and finish cleaning up from the flood. Take care and I hope you do well on your finals. Write when you have time.
With love,
Tom Hesley
