Internet Relationships
Dear [Mentat],
Yes, there’s a place in the profile where you can indicate how far away you’re willing to have your date be. And most women say they only want to meet someone within 20 to 100 miles of them. Yes, I have entered many different zip codes from 15213 to 1660x (mine) to 90210. California has the most women I’d consider worthwhile dates. But they’re 3000 miles away.
I’ve considered moving back to Pittsburgh. But there aren’t many women there either, at least on match.com and americansingles.com. If I was really going to do this right, I’d have to come to CA. But, given my experience of going to Philly only to find continued romantic desolation there, I’m not sure that moving anywhere is the right answer, especially with the Internet so readily available. Internet relationships can work if people are patient.
Funny. These days, I’m more patient than the women. In fact, I’m often the one putting the brakes on when relationships start going too fast. That ballerina last fall mentioned marriage after only a month of talking. And Wow, I just had to say, “Slow down!”
Yes. Questionnaire surveys are only so reliable because they don’t provide an independent means of measuring a person’s actual responses. Their weakness is that they rely on the person being questioned to evaluate that response and then to put down what he thinks. Very often, people put down what they think the questioner wants (or does not want) to see, rather than what they actually feel.
No, on match.com, there is no way to search for women directly based on the ages that they’re looking for. However, there is a feature called “Reverse Matching” that allows you to search for women who say in their profiles that they’re looking for someone like you (based on age, educational levels, and other parameters). You can change the results you get by changing information in your own profile. However, you can’t change your age.
I have, and continue to appreciate all your attention. You’ve really helped me clarify many questions and resolve much doubt. You’re a gem of a friend. I have only two others like you, so you make sure to stay healthy, because I don’t want to lose you. 
Later,
Tom Hesley
