Put Love Relationships First
Dear [Mentat],
One of the “habits” discussed in that book The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People is to learn to put first things first. We’ve got to be able to recognize and order the immediacy of our needs. In terms of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, in order to be a “highly effective” person, we first must assure that we have a low-maintenance supply of food, air, exercise, water, sleep, and so on. Then, we can deal with the security concerns [level two]. Then the love and belonging concerns [level 3]. Then the esteem concerns [level 4], and finally, the self-actualization desires [level 5].
I never meant to suggest that in order to keep a relationship working well that one must dedicate his entire life to it, especially once he finds it. The relentless dedication I’ve written of is most useful in the search itself, not so much in the maintenance. In fact, once we find it, we’d need to invest less in its maintenance than in its acquisition. I talked elsewhere about the Lions people and how they could still be productive while keeping their relationship well-oiled. [...]
[For me, love relationships must come first, before esteem and self-actualization.]
