Resorting To Pity Love

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Dear [Mentat],

Seeking   pity love   might make me seem like a   desparate   man because it seems to have more downsides than upsides.  Details   here.  But at this point in my love quest, I   am   desperate. My love quest is a war I’m willing to fight for as long as I live if need be, in order to win. I’m tired of not wining, because my dream to partake in true love is powerful and recurrent.  it has survived all this opposition, though evidently, what I’ve done so far hasn’t worked, including what should have worked. Consider that:

  • Living in big cities failed.
  • Making a good income failed.
  • Routine and intense exercise failed.
  • Dressing to kill failed.
  • Getting educated failed (at least, so far).
  • Getting contact lenses failed [three times].
  • Controlling my weight failed.
  • Hitting on unhappily married women failed.
  • Hanging at the bars failed.
  • Asking thousands of women for dances in 1999 thru 2001 failed.
  • Achieving leadership status at work failed.
  • Going to church failed.
  • All the   safe   actions failed.

So the time has come to radically change methods. Perhaps now, it’s time to try something “wild;” something that “would surely not work,” and see what happens. Soliciting pity love is the next radical technique to try once I work up the nerve.  Maybe if I could induce a woman to go out with me because she pities me, that would at least get me in the doors of her heart, past the walls of prejudice that many seem to construct toward the handicapped. 

Clearly what I’m proposing violates the whole love-at-first-sight principal described   here. But in doing what seems so wrong, we can sometimes find solutions that turn out to be more right than the orthodox ones tried previously. So, in an effort to “think outside the box,” I must concede that though my understanding of how love works best for me is strongly intuitive and borne out by much anecdotal evidence, my view nonetheless, is likely incomplete, and I may be applying it inappropriately to women in that I too often expect them to respond to me with the same quick passion, that I feel toward them.

Though I know from numerous personal experiences that it’s futile to date people who fail the initial attractiveness test, I accept now that not everyone works the same. Particularly women. My way is a valid way for men to mate-seek. But women are less given to quickly falling head-over-heels for men than men are to fall into love-at-first-sight with women, for good reasons. More details   here.  Indeed, studies suggest that fewer women experience love-at-first-sight than men. Evolutionary psychology (EP) study reveals the numerous logical reasons for this, a couple of which I’ll touch on below.

Tom Hesley

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