Tom's Love Quest

Dear [Mentat],

Well, back to work with me. I’m struggling with this letter to women who reject me, which elicits their compassion (or yes, call it pity). It implores them to give me a fair chance though they find me initially unattractive. After receiving their first rejection, my argument back to them goes something like this:

Okay, I know I’m not someone who you’d normally date, and I don’t blame you. You are, after all, reacting like most ladies, who immediately dismiss me upon learning that I don’t see well. This is normal. But I’m a decent, honest, and stable man, and we’d have lots of fun together if you’d just spend some hours getting to know me while keeping your mind and heart open.

Mine has, unfairly, been a lonely life because ladies won’t look past my handicap. It appalls them and thus has the same chilling effect as if I’d told them I’d murdered my mother (No, I have not murdered my mother!). They just don’t want any parts of it. No matter that I’m educated and have held leadership positions in software engineering. No matter that I neither smoke, drink, nor use recreational drugs. No matter that I’m an open book and consider sacred the values of truth and full disclosure. None of these things that so many women claim to hold so dear persuades them to go out with me. Unfortunately, that’s the way it’s always been, and I’ve approached thousands through the years.

Yes, the thought of dating someone legally blind might scare you at first, and believe me, I do understand your apprehension and will not judge you for it. But if you’ve never done it, why not try it at least once? You may find it a far more enlightening, enriching, and satisfying experience than you ever imagined.

Now ideally, it’s probably best that people feel immediate chemistry, since it makes learning about them all the more interesting. However many women say that they can fall in love   without   this love-at-first-sight [LAFS], though they admit that it takes longer in that case. But at least it’s possible. This is great news for me because wooing women with a strong initial attraction is not one of my strong points. It seems that women lose all chemistry once I tell them that I’m vision-impaired.

So, given all that, I ask that you allow your compassion to substitute for chemistry; at least for little while. Will yourself to be my friend, even if you feel no initial attraction. You have it in your power to help a fellow human being realize a dream he’s sought all his life, which has thus far eluded him. Do it because the act of giving in a truly meaningful way, will help you find a peace that perhaps you’ve not known before.  Loving without initial reward may even score you some points to the good with God. So how about giving it a go?  Then, let’s see what happens. I’m told by those who know me well, that my most valuable treasures don’t show immediately; but they do eventually shine through and soften even the hardest hearts.  So please, just stick around long enough to find them, and perhaps your heart will be moved to true love as well. It won’t take long. I promise.

[Mentat], I’d appreciate your suggestions on augmenting the persuasiveness of this argument. I want this to pull very hard at their heart strings, and if punching through their prejudices means that I at first must get them to feel sorry for me, then so be it. Perhaps this is just a price I must pay to combat such prejudice in ours and future generations.  That’s what I’ll do, though admittedly, this terrifies me.

By the way, I’d be curious to hear [your girlfriend's] thoughts. So share this with her as well if you so desire.

Catch you later.

 
Tom Hesley

Related Posts

• Avoid Distracting Compassion
• Compassion, Empathy, Pity
• Compassion Questing
• Cruel Better Judgement
• Dating Blind Men
• Dating Blind Women
• Defending Pity-Gets-Love Idea
• Enthusiastically Compassionate Love
• I Love You Emmy
• Love Born From Pity
• Pity-Born Love
• Seeking Pity
• Seeking Pity, Getting Love
• Seeking Pity to Get Love
• Using Emmy
• Weather, Pity, Liars, Weight

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 8th, 2007 at 10:31 am and is filed under Attraction, Concepts, Honesty, Letters, Loneliness, Love At First Sight, Physical Attraction, Pity, Receiving Rejection, Rejection. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.