The chat group took offense at my willingness to leave a lover who gets fat, just because she got fat. I defended my position as follows:
The other circumstances in the relationship would also influence my decision to stay or go if the lady got heavy. If her weight gain happened because of some disease or was an unforeseen effect of some medicine she started taking, then I’d be less tempted to go. But if she grew plump due to reckless abandon, and she did not exhibit a strong desire to lose it, then I’d be more eager and tempted to leave. This is a very hard question to answer though because in each relationship, every set of circumstances is different.
But if someone would be afraid of me leaving them for gaining weight, well, there are many other potential reasons to go as well. She might fear a man leaving if:
- She swore too much
- She drank excessively
- She drove too fast
- She got gray too quickly
- She was overly stubborn
- She squeezed the toothpaste tube in the middle rather than the far end
- She lost her mind
- She lost weight
A person might up and leave us for any (or a combination of) hundreds of reasons like these. .It seems to me that more often than not, relationships move forward in spite of the potential terminating effects of these other reasons. But when it comes to weight? Like my ballerina friend back in 2004, some folks are just plain insecure, and they immediately rule out anyone who appears to be overly occupied with weight. Yes, you’re right, this was probably one big reason that the ballerina called it off.
Just imagine if people didn’t worry so much about what MIGHT or MIGHT NOT happen in the future, I think relationships would flourish much better.