2009-05-02 Foot Party Wrapup
The foot party was great; it was everything I hoped, and as I suspected, it turned out to be a life-altering experience. For instance, I know today that I’ll never meet women as I had before this again, for reasons that I’ll explain in subsequent posts. Online dating services? Done with those. Telephone dating services? No more. Approaching strangers in the park or on the bus? Never again, because I’ve found a better way for guys with a foot fetish like me.
Maybe it’s just the euphoria that happens after we do something that’s really cool or when we fall in love. So maybe I should wait a few weeks for all that to dissipate before saying more because I suspect that my emotions will die down over time as they have in the past, anytime I made significant breakthroughs in the love quest; I discovered several such insights this weekend. I might make more level-headed posts if I waited.
Yet I want to write while I’m still ‘hot’ and the memories are fresh in my mind. So I will write while my head’s still buzzing. Just understand that I might sound dreamy and lofty in the conclusions I draw from the experience. Don’t worry though. I will come back to earth shortly and if I can write this the way I’d like, you’ll be able to see me floating back down in these pages as well.
There’s just so much to say about the weekend that I can’t fit it all here. But I did want to post this little piece for anyone who’s interested, to let you know that more posts on this are coming soon.
I don’t know if my attendance at the foot party will help straighten out things between [Emmy] (my girlfriend) and me. But she has been so understanding and supportive through all this, even though it’s causing [Emmy] great pain to do so. She really shows that she loves me, and I love her for making the effort. I have a letter planned for her this week that explains her very important role in all this. So I’ll talk more to her there.
But back to the foot fetish party for now. I met around ten ladies and was quite taken with one; so much so that I hope to attend again in June, just to see her. Or, maybe I don’t hope that. I’m a bit scared to go again because my heart aches a little for this wonderful woman and I’ve not had this feeling to this degree for anyone in at least ten years. Yep, she really made a deep impression, having everything in just the right proportions in body, mind, and spirit.
True. I didn’t wish to be taken with anybody; I just wanted to have fun massaging and worshipping feet. Yet I got way more than I bargained for because not only were her feet the perfect size, shape, color, and texture, but so was the rest of her. By the end of the night, I had moved from kissing her feet to gazing into her eyes, and found just as much pleasure there as well. She’s perfect to me.
Today, nearly forty-four hours after I left the party, I find myself missing her; this remarkably beautiful woman. I’ve fallen hard. There’s a letter coming for her too where I try to explain my feelings and how and why I think they came to be, and what I’d like to do about them. Watch for it.
Finally, I’ve kept extensive journals of the entire weekend that I will transcribe from digital audio into text, and I’ll post those here as well. So there are lots more posts to come on this topic, and you’ll see them just as soon as I get them all organized and thought out. So stand by because I hope that my experience might help others find the same happiness that I found at the foot party this past weekend. May it assure them too that it really is possible to fulfill your fantasies if you get with the right groups of people.
May 19th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
I am confused… You could do nothing but tell me how much you cared about Emmy the whole time at the party.
May 19th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
At first, working things out with [Emmy] was indeed my focus.
But then, in the red room, things changed. I began to feel things in myself that I hadn’t felt in such a very long time, and things that I never felt with [Emmy] throughout our entire six years together. I didn’t want to admit this at first because being that vulnerable is not a safe place to be. Nor did I want to discourage you by expressing too much interest in you too soon. Also, I wanted you to know that I’ve been completely above-board with [Emmy] about all of this, so that you’d not think me a cad. So I kept telling you and myself too, that fixing things with [Emmy] was paramount.
But a half-hour into our red room time, this truth had indeed become a lie. My own physician’s words kept ringing in my ears in the red room; words that he said when I asked him about [Emmy’s] and my troubles. He did some tests, and when the results came back, he folded his hands on the table between us, looked at me with sincere intensity, and he said, “Tom, I think you’re just with the wrong woman.”
I didn’t believe him; didn’t want to believe him. [Emmy] is such a sweet person, and I do love her on some level. I want to help her succeed, because she’s somewhat alone in the world, and has very few people she can really count on.
But after you and I finished in the red room, I knew that my physician was right. As much as I love [Emmy], I have never been IN love with her. I wanted to be. I really did. But it just never would happen, no matter what we tried. That fact, plus how quickly I became enamored with you forced me into the inescapable conclusion that I had to let [Emmy] go, and work on surrounding myself with more of “the right” women.
Does this make it clearer for you?
Tom Hesley