How are you? Are you ready for camp? I sure am ready for the vacation.
At any rate, just a quick note that this month, I discovered that it is indeed a fear of love rejection that keeps me from approaching most women. I’m a chicken. As you know, I went to a really cool foot party at the beginning of this month. The ladies there were always receptive, talkative, pleasant, and polite; no chance of being rejected. Commensurately, any fears I might have had to talk to them, were nowhere to be found. So when there’s no threat of rejection, I’m never afraid of rejection.
As you know though, this fear and I are old companions. I’ve battled it, considered it a wise guardian, envisioned it as a great wall with windows through which I could look at women on the other side yet could not pass, and it has appeared as a raging tiger, growling and blocking the path of my love quest. This fear of rejection is, I fear, by far the most crippling force that opposes me in my quest. Being overly afraid of rejection has prevented me from making my dreams with women come true.
But with time marching on and me well into middle age, I wonder if, the fear of dying unfulfilled, will eventually trump this fear of rejection, and enable me to consistently approach beautiful strangers at will? These two fears constantly wage war in my soul and I’m weary of their fighting. I need some insight; reinforcements if you will. Will I always be so concerned about offending women that I’ll never be able to tell them my heart?
Every several years, I like to reexamine all the times that I got rejected and my thoughts about my fear of rejection. So, if the muses will support me, I’ll be writing letters to you and [Mentat] over the next few months, telling you what I know and suspect about this fear so far. As always, any feedback or insights you or anyone else has on this topic would be welcome.