I spent last Saturday afternoon at DelGrosso’s water park, people-watching.  Well, more precisely, GIRL-watching, and as I looked on, the following ideas occurred:

• It’s best to look for a new lover when it’s warm outside because the heat prompts girls to reveal their heavenly bodies; a sight that during the cooler months, we fellows might have to wait weeks to see.
• Better to see the ladies “live,” because 2D pictures and videos from the Internet just do not convey enough detail about her for me to know for certain that I’ll actually find her alluring once we finally do meet, in the flesh.
• In fact, I must see her live and scantily clad, as they are here at the water park today, before hanging my hat on her star. 
• It’s easier to find the most desirable women, to me, where many of them congregate, such as at swimming areas like this one.  Seeing one, all by herself is somewhat telling.  But viewing her alongside others allows me to know at a glance just how beautiful she is relative to those others.  We make better choices when we have lots to choose from.  So it’s probably a bad idea to choose, when the selection pool only has one or two women in it.
• I’d be more sure that I had in fact picked a right-on, and not a close-but-not-quite, if I’ve chosen her from a crowd. 
• My tastes are detailed, refined, demanding, and numerous.  They’re also unpopular, as a guy takes a lot of heat these days when he admits to finding the thinner women more attractive than the heavy. 
• Yet it’s crucial to own up to our desires.  We like what we like, even if some resent us for it.  Though our desires might be egregiously denied by some, they are nonetheless worthy of fulfillment.  In fact, we must fulfill them if we’re ever to know complete happiness. 
• While it’s always wrong to force someone to grant our wishes who does not wish to do so themselves, it’s also always right for us to keep seeking until we find that special person who enjoys satisfying our longings. 
• Others may shame us for our desires.  But this scorn is misplaced because while our needs are indeed our own, it’s also true that they come from outside.  They may have been instilled in us by God, by the universe, by our genes, by our raisings, and so on.  But we did not decide to have them, just as we did not choose to have two hands instead of one or three.  So no one has any business blaming us for what we like, so long as it hurts no one.
• But if you allow yourself to get too close to a lady without first knowing for certain that she’s got the right stuff, then you’ll likely become entrapped in a quagmire of obligation and emotional responsibility that is difficult to break away from.  I would never consider any long-term commitment until I’ve seen her naked and we’ve been to bed together. 
• My right-ons tend to be tall and thin, have small yet long thighs and arms.  But very few women who actually fit this description are right on.  Indeed, there are hundreds or thousands of seemingly inconsequential yet critical variables that I can’t see when she’s overly dressed or made up.  So I’ve often erred; picking the wrong ones, and not realizing it until we’d developed emotional bonds.  Nasty. 
• I so wish it was the custom in this culture to meet ladies naked.  This way, critical information could be gleaned without all the pointless preambles of tradition. 
• There’s no room for feeling sorry for the ones I reject either.  So I   Avoid Distracting Compassion.  In fact, worrying about their feelings and berating myself for not desiring them when I believe I should, wastes time.  Maybe I should like them.  Maybe I shouldn’t.  Whatever.  It doesn’t matter because either I do, or I do not; all shoulds and should nots notwithstanding.  Believing that I should like someone does not make it so, and thinking that I should not never extinguishes any fires of desire in the heart; it may intensify them in fact. 
• Deciding who I most desire to pursue is best done when I’m not close friends with them, as there’s less obligation to spare their feelings, should I decide against them.  If we’re close friends, I become wishy-washy; afraid to tell them that I don’t find them romantically desirable.  Their feelings start meaning too much even though romantically, they mean nothing. 
• True.  It’s possible that I might  “get lucky” when, after a long courtship, when she finally allows the relationship to go physical, that I’ll find her to be exactly what I’m looking for.  But the chances of that are small, and it’s not the case that longer courtships promote longer-lasting passion.  Life’s too short to wait around for very long.
• Often, ladies seem at first alluring.  But that quickly fades.  I’ve noted that this happens when they distract me with pretty clothes, hair, and makeup; devices that come off in the bedroom.  So again, I’d rather see them dressed down, as opposed to dressed up. 
• Very few women impress me in lasting ways; perhaps one woman in five hundred.  But there are those who do, and the best way to find them, and know early on and for sure that I have, is to find them in the nude.  Seriously. 
• I’m secure when they stare me down because I know that most of what they’re seeing I cannot take credit for, nor can I accept blame for either. 
• So I can be just as secure around those who see me as I can those who do not. 

 Tom Hesley

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