Archive for the ‘Affirmations’ Category

Water Park Musings: 2010-06-02

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010

I spent last Saturday afternoon at DelGrosso’s water park, people-watching.  Well, more precisely, GIRL-watching, and as I looked on, the following ideas occurred:

  • It’s best to look for a new lover when it’s warm outside because the heat prompts girls to reveal their heavenly bodies; a sight that during the cooler months, we fellows might have to wait weeks to see.
  • Better to see the ladies “live,” because 2D pictures and videos from the Internet just do not convey enough detail about her for me to know for certain that I’ll actually find her alluring once we finally do meet, in the flesh.
  • In fact, I must see her live and scantily clad, as they are here at the water park today, before hanging my hat on her star. 
  • It’s easier to find the most desirable women, to me, where many of them congregate, such as at swimming areas like this one.  Seeing one, all by herself is somewhat telling.  But viewing her alongside others allows me to know at a glance just how beautiful she is relative to those others.  We make better choices when we have lots to choose from.  So it’s probably a bad idea to choose, when the selection pool only has one or two women in it.
  • I’d be more sure that I had in fact picked a right-on, and not a close-but-not-quite, if I’ve chosen her from a crowd. 
  • My tastes are detailed, refined, demanding, and numerous.  They’re also unpopular, as a guy takes a lot of heat these days when he admits to finding the thinner women more attractive than the heavy. 
  • Yet it’s crucial to own up to our desires.  We like what we like, even if some resent us for it.  Though our desires might be egregiously denied by some, they are nonetheless worthy of fulfillment.  In fact, we must fulfill them if we’re ever to know complete happiness. 
  • While it’s always wrong to force someone to grant our wishes who does not wish to do so themselves, it’s also always right for us to keep seeking until we find that special person who enjoys satisfying our longings. 
  • Others may shame us for our desires.  But this scorn is misplaced because while our needs are indeed our own, it’s also true that they come from outside.  They may have been instilled in us by God, by the universe, by our genes, by our raisings, and so on.  But we did not decide to have them, just as we did not choose to have two hands instead of one or three.  So no one has any business blaming us for what we like, so long as it hurts no one.
  • But if you allow yourself to get too close to a lady without first knowing for certain that she’s got the right stuff, then you’ll likely become entrapped in a quagmire of obligation and emotional responsibility that is difficult to break away from.  I would never consider any long-term commitment until I’ve seen her naked and we’ve been to bed together. 
  • My right-ons tend to be tall and thin, have small yet long thighs and arms.  But very few women who actually fit this description are right on.  Indeed, there are hundreds or thousands of seemingly inconsequential yet critical variables that I can’t see when she’s overly dressed or made up.  So I’ve often erred; picking the wrong ones, and not realizing it until we’d developed emotional bonds.  Nasty. 
  • I so wish it was the custom in this culture to meet ladies naked.  This way, critical information could be gleaned without all the pointless preambles of tradition. 
  • There’s no room for feeling sorry for the ones I reject either.  So I   Avoid Distracting Compassion.  In fact, worrying about their feelings and berating myself for not desiring them when I believe I should, wastes time.  Maybe I should like them.  Maybe I shouldn’t.  Whatever.  It doesn’t matter because either I do, or I do not; all shoulds and should nots notwithstanding.  Believing that I should like someone does not make it so, and thinking that I should not never extinguishes any fires of desire in the heart; it may intensify them in fact. 
  • Deciding who I most desire to pursue is best done when I’m not close friends with them, as there’s less obligation to spare their feelings, should I decide against them.  If we’re close friends, I become wishy-washy; afraid to tell them that I don’t find them romantically desirable.  Their feelings start meaning too much even though romantically, they mean nothing. 
  • True.  It’s possible that I might  “get lucky” when, after a long courtship, when she finally allows the relationship to go physical, that I’ll find her to be exactly what I’m looking for.  But the chances of that are small, and it’s not the case that longer courtships promote longer-lasting passion.  Life’s too short to wait around for very long.
  • Often, ladies seem at first alluring.  But that quickly fades.  I’ve noted that this happens when they distract me with pretty clothes, hair, and makeup; devices that come off in the bedroom.  So again, I’d rather see them dressed down, as opposed to dressed up. 
  • Very few women impress me in lasting ways; perhaps one woman in five hundred.  But there are those who do, and the best way to find them, and know early on and for sure that I have, is to find them in the nude.  Seriously. 
  • I’m secure when they stare me down because I know that most of what they’re seeing I cannot take credit for, nor can I accept blame for either. 
  • So I can be just as secure around those who see me as I can those who do not. 

 

 Tom Hesley

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Male Quester’s Advice

Wednesday, May 25th, 1994

Current goal: To meet the right woman. Goal should be: To rule out the wrong women.

Make this your new goal and celebrate when you successfully rule out the wrong ones.

I might need to “grow” my dream girl since men and women don’t generally fit exactly together.

Don’t rule out a lady you like until you’ve discussed it with her.

You won’t get the “flower” first. But you may get the seed, which you must tend and cultivate.

Tom Hesley

Affirmations for Finding Love

Wednesday, April 6th, 1994

She’s out there waiting for me to find her. Keep looking!

I DESERVE the love I want. I have earned it!

With all the pain, hard work, and humiliation I’ve endured to make myself worthy and capable of receiving my dreams-come-true, nature can no longer deny my reward.

Tom Hesley

Affirmation: Coping With Rejection

Saturday, March 12th, 1994

Encountering too many inappropriate situations to meet folks can make me sad.

Avoid over-concern over strategies to avoid rejection. It is a nobler effort to learn how to deal with rejection when it strikes me.

Somehow, avoid interpreting events as failures. Too many failures can bring me down. I should be upbeat, positive, and receptive when hunting for new dates.

I get down at times because I expect myself to just walk right up to anyone who catches my eye and start talking. Rarely does this happen.

Keeping the psyche high is essential to success in interactions with strangers. Abundant self-esteem and joy with an unlimited ability to replenish what I lose to rejection will assuage my fears of taking the initiative.

For any sad thought, decide whether I can fix the situation to which they refer. If so, fix it. If not, let it go and refuse to clutter my mind obsessively with them anymore.

For me, the whole [Emeebee] situation is a dead issue. Nothing further to be gained by further contemplation.

Tom, I love you.

“Don’t worry, be happy!” — Bobby McFerrin.

I’m happy once again.

Tom Hesley

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Beat Fear By Getting Happy

Saturday, March 12th, 1994

When I’m on top of the world, I can approach people with much greater ease and take rejection much more lightly. The solution? Get happy! Be sure you’re in the right frame of mind before you start your quest. You should be relaxed – the stomach calm and the forehead smooth — no ridges. Happiness encourages confidence. So get happy!

Tom Hesley

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Affirmations Of A Searching Soul

Tuesday, March 8th, 1994

If you want to survive a woman’s coldness, then “find your strength in love.”

Know that her desires are paramount, even above your own.

To receive great things, you must give great things.

Give her your support.

Don’t look in just one store to find that which you seek. For there is no person who is so unique that their gifts cannot be replaced.

If a lady says No
Then don’t make her say Yes
Ask another one
To stay instead.

Believe that your wants
Will be fulfilled
@hen your sweetie falls in love with you.
Don’t rush her
Or push her, or soon
Your time as one will be through.

Tom Hesley

Affirmation on Reality

Saturday, February 26th, 1994

Reality is a bowl of shapeless clay, waiting to be shaped by those strong and courageous enough to take on the task. So I’ve become a potter. I now define my reality rather than trying to discern it. So what reality would I forge for myself in the next few years? That it is normal, acceptable, and not dangerous to tell any fantastic lady that she is my fantasy. Please give me control in this area of my existence. PLEASE.

Tom Hesley

Thoughts on Fear, Rejection, and Change

Sunday, February 20th, 1994

• Rejection grows fortitude.
• Persistence exterminates fear.
• Effort yields love.
• “You either adapt, or fail.” –Brian’s Dad.
• Throughout the twisted maze of life, people change a great amount. This change is natural. A forced change however will likely result in no change at all.
• A person will change what they will, in their own way and in their own time.
• As outsiders, we can suggest some pathways which they could follow. But they make the final decision, just as authoritatively as a judge proclaims his ruling. And they should receive the same respect as the robed man.
• Ask once, and you’re a flattering chap. Ask again, and you’re an obnoxious, arrogant fool. Take “No” as her final answer. If she should change her mind, she’ll let you know.
• If you desire a highly sought commodity, you must compete to get it.
• You must cope with repeated rejection, humiliation, and disappointment until the hour in which you find that your dream has come true.

Tom Hesley

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Affirmations and Congratulations

Sunday, February 20th, 1994

Though eagles are rare,
Pretty ladies are not.
So go ahead and stare.
Say you like them a lot.

But should they reject you,
No matter.
So what?
You have not a care,
‘Cause many more to be sought.

Pat on the back: I approached three women today. Pat pat pat! :-)

Tom Hesley

Love Quest Affirmations

Saturday, February 19th, 1994

• It’s okay to yearn for another’s love.
• A sweetie isn’t merely the icing on the cake. But rather, she’s the sugar in the cake.
• Without her, yes, my life is livable, productive, and perhaps even successful. But by no means can it be complete or totally happy.
• We live longer when loved as well as when we love.
• My life I give to you.
• Love me, and I’ll love you back.
• I want to play house with my mate.
• I shall not be disloyal to all the years of dreaming. Thus, I won’t turn my back on my dream girl. She’s just too lovely.
• I now possess the power to meet and pursue many women; more than enough of them to fill my life.
• Love is an art, and must be practiced with the same diligence and care and time as the perfection of any other art form.
• Then: The sexier the woman, the more inhibited I was. Now: the sexier the woman, the less inhibited I am. Future: I date only the sexiest women.

Tom Hesley