Introducing the Blogcast
Friday, October 24th, 2008Hello.
This is Tom. I am the Tom in the title of this podcast, which I called Tom’s Love Quest. Welcome! As the name implies, this podcast discusses the joys and troubles of finding true love; a goal that I’ve spent most of my life pursuing. I’ve had great difficulty finding it, especially in the early years. But today, I am more fulfilled than ever. So while I’m no expert, I have spent thousands of hours studying, talking to women, and thinking; and through all that, have learned better ways of seeing true love and how to seek it that made me an effective hunter. I’ll share my tested and proved strategies, and tell of how I’ve moved closer to winning the mating game. I’ll explain how I got from my teenage years (when I never had any dates), to today where I’m enjoying a steady six-year-long relationship with a wonderful woman.
We’ll laugh and cry as we walk too, because this quest is bitter-sweet. I won’t sugar coat the sour parts either, and believe me there were many. In fact, I have more bitter memories than sweet. But oh! How sweet those sweet ones are. You’ll get them all however, including the sad nights when I had no princess to sleep with as well as the electrifying times when I did. You’ll hear about my highs of hope when I believed that a change I’d made would get me more dates. Whether I was losing a few pounds, buying new clothes, or trolling a new web site, sometimes I just knew that THIS would to be the adjustment to end my lonely days forever. That thrill gave me such rushes that I kept at the love quest consistently through the years.
I continued even though of all the time I’d spent questing, I spent more of it sad than happy. True. I never found a single step that fully ended the sadness. But for decades I pressed on because it got better at it as I went. All my little steps were in fact, raising my odds of connecting with my favorite women. Just the fact that I was improving at all felt wonderful. Indeed, much of the fun of chasing my dream girl came not only from actually catching her, but also from learning to run faster so that I could catch up. So if you’re on a love quest yourself, I hope that this blog will help you end it quicker. That is: May it enable you to find and keep the love that you want.
Now I think both sexes will find this blogcast useful. But since I’m a guy myself, my thoughts will come largely from the male perspective. So while I’m not speaking to men only, they still may relate to my ideas more than women. I’m not favoring the male position. But since I am most familiar with it, I’ll probably discuss it more than the female points of view. Nonetheless, I’ll offer both views where I can, and mesh them together in ways that both sexes will hopefully find helpful.
So ladies, don’t run off, because much of what’s here can help you too. If you ever wanted to understand males better, then listen on. Why do men focus so on a lady’s physical beauty? What do men like most about women? When is the best time to get a man to commit? How do you most effectively attract a man? Where are the best places to go to find good men? I’ll offer my male point of view as I take stabs at answering all these questions and many more in this account of my love quest.
So why I’m doing this cast? Well, years ago, I used to send audio letters to my distant friends on cassette tape. I’d fill up both sides of a C-90 with words and music, telling them what was going on with me, giving them weather reports from my area, sharing my views on lots of topics, and I’d play some of my favorite songs for them. I haven’t taped anyone for nearly twelve years. But when podcasting started in 2004, I couldn’t help remembering the fun that I had recording those taped letters. Since podcasting is similar to taping, I’m hoping that I’ll enjoy it just as much while reaching a far bigger audience to boot. I’ll let you know if it turns out that way later.
Also, I’d like to make your love quest easier than mine has been. People today are unhappy with their relationships, and for the most part, I’ve been the same. So often, I picked the wrong women, chasing those who were not in my league, who had boyfriends, or who lived too far away. I ignored early warning signs and continued dating duds at times. I had the misguided impression that if I just hung in there long enough that she’d eventually love me back. I’d go for the cold ones, believing I could warm them and repeatedly overestimated my ability to shape someone into my dream girl. I’d chase the pretty drug addicts and sexy bad girls, eager to rehabilitate them. Or, I’d go for the wild women thinking that I could tame them. But none of this ever worked out. However, what I learned along the way has helped me avoid many sad situations since. I don’t make those mistakes anymore, and so I’m more fulfilled today than ever. I want to help you achieve this as well and enable you to experience the thrills I’ve had while avoiding the pains. I’ll do that by showing where I did it wrong and where I got it right, what I learned from it, and how it changed my approach for the better. I wish you to know what I know, but also to spare you the decades of suffering I went through to learn it. I hope that these experiences will in some small way, help reduce the number of unhappy relationships out there. Finally, I want to preserve my experiences for future generations to benefit from. It would be a shame to have it all die with me with no record left for others; especially after all my work to learn it. This blog and podcast shall be that record.
I’ll use several methods to tell you about my love quest. First, I’ll read some of my journal. I’ve written extensively in it over the past fourteen years and it has raw descriptions of every romantic experience I’ve enjoyed in that time. I’ll share how each one steered me in a slightly better direction than I’d been going before it. I’ll tell you about the people, places, and things that altered my direction in the quest for the better. I’ll change their names though, because this is about MY journey and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I don’t intend to slam or diminish anyone with this account, as I hold grudges against no one for the hardships I encountered in my quest. Nonetheless, I wish to preserve in this record the truest essences of those experiences so folks will best understand the sorts of dilemmas one man faced as he pursued happiness in his own life. I’ll also give key insights I learned, and how and why they became clear to me. Later, if this cast gets popular, I’ll include some of my favorite musical selections that illustrate my ideas. I might also interview noted authorities in the field of relationships. This, I hope, will be informative and fun for you the listener, and me the author. So, stay tuned.
I’ll publish between one and four episodes per month. Sometimes, when I’m really inspired, you may get ten. You may get zero too. It’ll just depend on my muse and her moods.
So thanks so much for listening and I hope you’ll return for the next episode. Until then, this is Tom saying, take care, and we’ll see you soon.
Tom Hesley
